promise broken

broken down, silent tears flowing like a river.
instead of heart aching, a numbness feeling spread to my whole body.
i know i have no rights to say how much i hurt.
but even if i say, who else knows how it feels?
im a failure in the family, my family hates me.
im just a nobody to others, everyone hates me, i hate myself too.
im not a good friend or girlfriend,
all i know is to break one's heart & make others suffer.
i dun suit living in this world, there's nothing i can do here.
i was promised not to do anything stupid,
tried to cry alone to myself instead doing such things.
but it seems not helping, tears keep rollin down.
Hate me, for everything i do. for all those aching u have.
i really dun know how to face you.
you said for every tears i shed, u'll shed ur blood..
stop me from crying? can, i'll be back to the life like 3 yrs ago.


T_T